Running Towards Heaven

This blog is for anyone that has had repeated trauma in their life, that has felt like, "this is just the way I am" or "this will never get better"

Anyone who has been horrified by their past actions, felt different or that they were hiding themselves from the world

Anyone that's been told has been told that they're "crazy" "dramatic" or that "something is wrong with you"

Anyone that's needed something- drugs, pills, alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, sex, love, hate, pain, you name it, anything can be a distraction 

Anyone that's been told they're the problem in their relationship or that they need help

Anyone that's ever felt and knew they were holding themselves down, punishing themselves for their past mistakes, never truly granting themselves forgiveness for their sins or simply giving themselves grace, therefor living in their own mental prison and all while knowing, they were meant for so much more

The truth is, it doesn't take many times to hear this until you begin to believe it and take on this role

This is a collection of memories from a girl that has been through hell and back.  At the age of 40, I have not only forgiven myself but now understand that everything I went through was part of a bigger plan. And as painful as those valleys were, I was never alone and it all unfolded as it should have

While our journeys are each different, we are all guided along the way, whether we know it or accept it 

This is the story of my journey- of how I've been able to overcome self-hate and begin to embrace my inner confidence and strength by following my own intuition and turning off all the outside voices

The only way out of hell is through it and for the first time ever, I am experiencing inner peace, because I was loved unconditionally, taught to love unconditionally and found my other half that showed me I was still worthy of love. And while I still have many challenging obstacles still ahead of me, I am finally AWAKE and will never allow myself to fall asleep again.